Friday, July 6, 2007

Tanga daw si St. Mother Theresa,.


"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."- Mother Theresa

If love hurts, then love some more, if love hurts some more, then love even more, if love hurts even more... then love 'till it hurts no more..

yan.
hmm.. kung mababasa to ni E.T. pamilyar to skanya.
("Loving you doesn't hurt me anymore. I have learned to understand you. bleeh!")


tama na drama.
wala lang. walang kwenta. share ko lang. haha..
no. thing is, in my Christian Formation class this morning, and that topic is what's bothering my 2nd-year
classmates.(i'm supposed to be a fourth-year BSN student but then i dropped out of school last february,on my third year at school, so irreg ako ngayon and i have 2nd-year and fourth-year classmates.. blah blah..)

two days na nilang pinaguusapan yan. mind-boggling daw. sigh.

here's the question: kaya mo bang ibigay ang lahat para sa mahal mo? Lahat? buo?
karamihan sa mga nakababata naming kaklase ay sumagot na:"No. I can't give my all to the person I love."

me thinking:
"huh? anu ba yon? nagmahal kaba talaga non? anu daw? baka iba naiisip nila? baka katawan? anu?? di naman siguro."

nagtanong muli ang aking gwapong professor:"Are you willing to give everything? sacrifice everything for the people you love? Are you willing to GIVE YOURSELF to others? the whole of you? "
yung classmate ko sa mismong likod ko nag-react violently,pasigaw: "huh?! anoh? katangahan na 'yun noh!! TANGA lang gagawa nyan!"

.. bigla ako napatingin sa kanya. tinignan ko talaga sa mata.resigned look. smile ako jan. then, i resumed drawing in my lil notebook. sarcastic ah.

me thinking (1 000 000 neurons per second):
"nakuha nya naman siguro nais kong ipahiwatig. siguro hindi pa nya maintindihan. hindi pa sya nagmahal. minahal ba nya pamilya nya? hmm.. well, she's sixteen. and maybe she had experienced loving someone.

and she's just scared to love again.

true.

i also got to that point in my life that i was scared to love.
Love makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses..you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one person comes into your life..You give them a piece of you. Oftentimes they didn't ask for it.. They'll do something dumb one day and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you..baka she was left behind or was suddenly dumped by someone she trusted. okay, so mejo nakakatakot nga ma-inLove. andun na ako."


sagot ng gwapong prof: what about Jesus? he gave everything. Sacrificed... blah blah..(CF subject toh!) Si Mother Theresa, sabi nya magmahal ka lang ng magmahal. ibigay mo lahat ng sarili mo. So, miss _, tanga pala si Mother Theresa? Saint Mother Theresa. wala palang pwedeng maging santo dito ngayon?
kung nagmahal ka pero hindi mo ibinigay ang buo ng iyong sarili, nagmahal ka nga ba?"


silence hits the class.

someone said: "pano ko po ibibigay ang sarili ko? edi wala nang natira sakin?"

naisip ko:"asayo parin naman ang katawan mo. i-share mo lang siguro. kahit naman mamatay ka may maiiwan parin sayo. yung kaluluwa mo." ( wag sana ma mis-interpret)

mukha bang joke? o loka loka nagsulat?


haha.. dba? diba? ako aaminin ko. ganun ako. i love to help kahit na alam kong mapapabayaan ko na yung sarili kong needs. ewan. natural lang. Am I stupid? malamang. at one point. pero i'm bothered when i don't help someone who needs help. Charity tawag 'don. Ito na siguro ang dahilan kung bakit ako pumasok sa masakit sa ulo na nursing.siguro. it makes my life meaningful. kahit na aaminin ko ang gusto ko talagang kunin na kurso ay Fine Arts or Architecture.. masaya parin ako sa pagtulong.


hindi dapat tungkol dito isusulat ko ngayon. marami gumugulo sa isip ko.
parricide, LADLAD Party list, autobots, ocean's 13, slr ko, di kami bati ni ET, vertigo..

pero.. o xa..

inaantok na rin ako. hindi nya ako bati.


-sana walang mahiya o matakot magbigay ng komento. di ako nangangagat. masarap ang diskusyon.

bow





5 comments:

`ch13f said...

hahaha.. kakatuwa ka naman,
lagi may halong tawa ang post..
haha!

ayun, big issue talaga ang tanong ha..
hmmm, pano ba ..

kung lahatan ibibigay mo,
masasabi mong true love kasi you're willing to take the risk ..

aun ..

God Bless!

MundRay said...

I don't think na ganun si Mother Theresa. She's a saint I idolize people like her willing to sacrifice everything for their love ones. (love nya rin ung hindi nya kilala)
Sounds romantic hehe.

† alleicarg † said...

@ ch13f: laging may tawa? parang totoo noh? freewriting lang kasi ako.kung ano naiisip cnusulat. continuous lang ba? =)
tama. love yun. love.. hayy.. love..@_@


@mundray: yup. giving of self.=)
it's good to know that you are inspired by a saint. =)

Anonymous said...

mahal kita, basta't mahal kita..... wawee

Amity said...

Good words.