Friday, April 27, 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

♥ denial passing sorrow.






In my silence I would love to forget
but restitution hasn't come quite yet..
with one accord I keep moving forth..
I stretch my heart to heal some more..

It used to be all I want to learn.. was wisdom, trust and truth..
By now all I really want to learn, is forgiveness for you.
As my seasons change i have now grown to know, when ones heart creates, one's soul doesn't owe.
So I wash away stains of yesterday..
Then tempt my heart with love's display..

All these broken pieces of arrows in my side?
I thought i could run with them.. i know now i can't hide,
so i'm looking out upon the darkness down the tracks..
My heart just won't let you go, i love you even still.


Love and hate, they both come along.



We start to walk as if nothing had happened..
But I remember today that the fighting never ends..

It's not how it used to be.



Everyone surely has darkness hidden somewhere in their heart..
Oftentimes it prevents them from living as they wish.
We can't imagine other people's pain, It's hard for us to share it.
But i'm here.. whoever i may be to you..
and if I meet someone whom I really want to face..I don't want to feel fear..
surely i know i won't feel it..

You shut the door of your heart with a violent noise and lost the key to open it a long time ago..
So just tell me exactly how you feel.. just with common words..and with common expressions..
It's so fearful to believe in what's invisible and formless..
But if you can do so, don't you feel it's wonderful?

Don't stare so weakly with a resigned look.. as if to say "such life"??..
Where is the person who could get what he wanted without making any sacrifices?
no one. you see?


You have the thing which I long for.. which I had lost and will never get again.
however, i strongly I wish for it..
but then someone will say," what is lost can never be saved."


tell me i'm not fooling myself.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

ang bilis. hayaan mo nga xang maglaway

kaka poste ko lang ng kadramahan minutes ago..
peroo..

nabasa ko ito sa blog ni argie...
at.. guminhawa pakiramdam ko.


arghie :


WhEn All eLsE fAiL.... Use a Fork

bakit ganun

daming taong pinoproblema masyado ang pag-ibig
totoo man i find love problem sa waste of my time isang malaking HELOOOOOO!!!
sa lahat nang namrumrublema tungkol sa love na yan

dami pang mas importanteng bagayna kailangan nating problemahingaya nang global warming, aids, at ang magiging katapusan nang maging sino kaman, (wala lang nagpapatawa lang)
i mean wala namang masama na isipin mo tungkol sa lovelife mo walang masamana paminsan minsan umiiyak ka pero wag mo namang hayaang kontrolin nang kabiguan mosa pagibig ang buhaysabi nga sa isang pelikulang napanuod ko
tatlong stages lang naman pinagdadaanan natinpagdating sa love eh

"LOVE, LEARN and MOVE ON"

pero kadalasan nasstuck tau dun sa love parthanggang sa nakalimutan na nating matuto kaya di na tau makapagmoveon
payo lang sa lahat nandyan ang problema para lutasin
di para titigan buong arawat iyakan dahil iniisip mo wala ka nangmagagawa...
meron kang magagawa marami
di lang isa di lang dalawa...marami as in marami

kung nasasaktan ka na iwanan mo na sya wag na wag mong sasabihin saken namahal mo sya kaya ok lang na masaktan kakagaguhan yan
baka masampal pa kita nang kaliwat kanan likod at harap
kung niloko ka lokohin mo rin di na uso martyr ngaun matira matibay
ika nga at kung nagsawa kanawag mo nang patagalin
dahil habang pinapatagal mo yan mas marami ang nasasaktan
hindi lang kayo nang kasama mo sa relasyonn andyan ang bestfriend mo na matagal na pala na me gusto sayo at busit na busit na sa pagsabi mo na di mo na kayaat gusto mo ng hiwalayan gf/bf mopero di mo naman ginagawa
nandyan din ang kabarkada mo namatagal na palang me pagnanasa sa gf/bfmo at naghihintay lang nang magandang pagkakataon para masulot jowa mo
at marami pang ibaoh well senxa na sana me napulot kau kahit papano
and lagi nyong tatandaan


"HAYAAN MO SYANG MAGLAWAY"



-end-


thanks arghie.

thanks a lot!

♥ i'm dying..



can't hardly breathe..





What faithless Vows you made to me.'
To love, respect and cherish thee'.
What a fool I turned out to be.
Believing vows I'll never see.
....


Dear heart.
Could you beat a little slower?
Cuz the frantic rhythm is getting to my head.
The laughter echoes off tainted walls..
Choruses of humility hide in every corner.


The embarrassment is sinking in..

Heart please stop.
Before everyone hears you.
Couldn’t he spare me some respect?
My head is spinning with regret.
he battered what of me was left.


Dear cheeks,
Could you lose a little color?
my hands can’t quickly cover all my face
The singing rings out in vibrant pains..
The torture, the pressure, the laughter, the stares..
I’m itching and yearning to get some fresh air.

With a giant leap I’m free again..
My head is spinning with regret..
regret.


dishonest one..
please die.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

nineteen.

i was browsing over the postsecret blogsite..


i found this image there..























-[caption: Subject: I dated my rapist

"I dated mine ... married him ... now 25 years and 3 kids later I'm finally figuring out why I've suffered from depression for so long. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone." -]




and cried.

don't ask me why.



nostalgia.


"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world"- postsecret



i wanted to make a contact to the one who posted this..

i just wanted to.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

put a little serotonin in it..

this is pure genius..
get your doctor's note.












Paxilback - Gray Kid parody of Justin Timberlake's Sexyback


03:03
The Gray Kid and Daniel Stessen. Directed by People Food.












"i cannot make my phone ring by lookin at it."

haha

♥artist ka nga. con artist.♥

ronald
Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.


blah.. blah..

have you ever heard Typecast's song "will you ever change"? nah.. i'm so f*ckin tired of things..okay.. things related to change. this is why i'm posting another entry at this time of day on earth.. it's past two o'clock in the morning and i'm havin this crazy feeling again.. well, it is a state of mind now.
i think i'm angry.. (i think)

months have passed.. things went wrong.. problems encountered.. lessons taught.. but they were NEVER LEARNED! why can't you learn!? yeah.. he never learned.. HE. always.. hurts me.. i guess i have never learned too.. but hey, i'm stronger now.. but it seems like i have never been kind, or at least have been gentle with myself.

i myself know that creative thought shapes destiny, and the hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in life.. but i have never developed a train of thought on which to ride.. and i'm going nowhere. fast. the nobility of life as well as happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.. and mine has a lost track.


It's time for a new mind about myself and my life.

i'll die early with him. never brought me happiness..
all the things i did.. the sacrifices.. i thought they were worth something..
i gave the shit love.. he gave me misery.. still i gave more love.. haha..

he needs change,a profound change, of mind and character..
i'm starting to hate him. again.
someone so selfish.. so mean.. don't deserve me.. never was worthy of the love i have given him..

the chances..

wasted.

just wasted.


Random acts of mindlessness..
Commonplace occurrences
Chances and surprises,another state of consciousness ..

conscientious stupidity..

i hate you.

Love isn't worth the pain when no love is returned.





sasa tennis player ka lang.. but why is it that love means nothing to you?

or maybe..


it's just me..



who means nothing to you?



this one's for you..






Holding on, that's what I do since I met you..
And it won't be long..Would you notice if I left you?And it's fine for some 'cause you're not the one,you're not the one there...All night long, laid on my pillow..These things are wrong.I can't sleep..


I have decided to leave you forever..i have decided to start things from here. thunder and lightning won't change what I'm feeling..and the daffodils look lovely today.. in your eyes I can see the disguise..
in your eyes I can see the dismay..

you're full of deceit..
your friends don't even know what kind of person you are..

you're fake.. hypocrite.


fine artist.

con artist.



kill yourself.

for the sake of humanity and the betterment of the society..


do it.



con artist.

eww


_+ i hope you can read this.. 'tis only here where i can express how i feel. (maintindihan mo kaya? gatas.)

Sunday, April 15, 2007

sobrang init

22:08..
home at last.
it's hot. I’m tired. Neuralgic.. cephalalgia with a pain scale rating of 9..grrhhh..(kung pwede lang mag infuse ng analgesic sa utak.. pwehh.. wala palang pandamdam ang utak.. grrh..) plus.. my gums are bleeding!
ginugulo ako ngayon ni miss hamasaki sa kanyang awiting “evolution”.



Grrhh!

what a day.. woke up at eleven-thirty in the morning. Ginising lang ako ng tatay ko sa sigaw.. kailangan ko daw pumunta ng tindahan at tulungan ang aking mama..

checked my phone.. what I got? seventeen messages..
galing lahat sakanya.. oo. sya nga.. si ruhao ko.na supposed to be ay kagabi ko pa nabasa. delayed lagi messages ko ngayon sa sun.. and I’m getting sick of it. 3 hours delayed! Come on!.. lagi pa ng laLag ang aking primitibong telepono. I don’t wanna buy a new one though.. napaka kuripot kong tao.. o xa.. ruhao ibili mo ko.. toinks.

I ate breakfast without even having a mouthwash.. eww.. yeah.
Lactum.. saka bread.. courtesy of pareng dieg.. five pieces yun.. naubos ko within two minutes. Well.. hindi po ako nagsulat ngayon para I bulgar ang aking katakawan.. kundi.. ikwento ang kamalasan ko ngayong araw na to.. hehe.. kilala nyo si little loca? Yun.. sa pang factor.. kung gusto nuyo sumakit ulo nyo eh hanapin nyo mga mumunting pelikula nya sa you tube.

I don’t know.. this day.. is.. whhaa.. di ko man lang mahanap ang appropriate na adjective! Basta! Naiinis ako! Itatapon ko na cellphone na toh! Hay!

Wala ba kayo maibenta sakin? Kahit docomo lang.. pwede nah!


Naiiinis
Nababato
Naluluha
Hayok na hayok..

Sayo

Sayo

Sayoo!!!



Gatas.. walang kwenta ang poste na to..

Masakit na rin ang mata ko kaya hindi ko naiparating ang gusto kong sabihin..

well.. to be continued tayo..

shower nako..

Baka init lang to..



p.s.: readers.. don’t be fooled by the cute theme of my blog.. walang kaartehan dito.. and the tune that plays? Its purpose is to annoy you.. haha.. joke.

Friday, April 13, 2007

suffering.

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.

Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)